Anxiety is more than just worrying too much, cowardice or social embarrassment. Anxiety can cripple you. It's a state of panic and insecurity, mixed with the inadequate to deal with situations. The experience fills you with fear and terror, making your life miserable.
For me anxiety is different to my full blow depression and a total contrast to an episode of mania. It can be an epic journey leaving the house when the outside world is too much for you. Often when I'm feeling low and lousy I don't feel like being in public. I feel awkward and nervous around people because they scare me.
I find my social anxiety a major ordeal because I'm ready for things to go wrong in situations and environments I can't control, the result is I get a wave of anxiety and paranoia comes over me. My nerves short circuit and I feel everyone is watching and staring at me. It has occurred to me that my anxiety attacks happen more when I'm feeling inadequate or inferior to other people. This is the time of sweats, strange breathing, my beating heart pumping so hard my chest wants to pop and the feeling of being stressed out.
It's like that uncomfortable feeling you get when you're aware someone is staring at you or you've trapped in a lift with a bunch of strangers. When I feel inadequacies and nervous tension in others it brings out mine. You can also feel anxious or a nervous wreck without any warning. A car horn can make you jump out of your skin.
The triggering panic attack feels like someone is watching me but what's really happening is am watching and judging myself. I become very self conscious and I don't know where to look, causing a punishment in my bodies reaction starting the racing heart, chest pains, sweaty palms and shortage of breath.
A milestone in overcoming anxiety and panic attacks is to realise others may feel the same. I think you need to "big yourself up a little" and give yourself some credit that you have made it out the door.
Managing your mind and anxieties is difficult in the modern world. Problems seem to grow from nothing or circumstances out of your control which influence our stress levels. The least you can do is look after yourself and find support. This means healthy eating, doing some form of exercise, less booze/no heavy drugs and getting enough sleep and rest.
Try some breathing exercises, meditation, yoga. Get creative by starting a diary, online blog, do some drawing, composing music to help you relax or release how you feel. Anxiety and depression are forms of pressure on our minds.
If you make peace with your greatest fears then you don't want or need to seek comfort or protection from other sources. To beat anxiety you have to let go of what people think of you and your own self- judgment of how think your body looks. It's irrelevant, learn who you are and bear in mind it's never easy fitting in with the rest of the freaks.
"Who of you by worrying can add a single hour to his life?" - Jesus
