Not Interesting

Sorry I haven't blogged anything interesting lately. I also apologise that I've not tweeted for a while. After work I feel wiped out and just want to drink, eat and go to sleep. Life is miserable and a circle of routine until my retirement or death.

Lately everything is hard work. The days are gruellingly long. Getting up for work is chore. I always seem to feel tried, and barely able to keep my eyes open no matter how much I sleep.

I don't have anything interesting to publish today. I've tried doing some poetry but don't feel confident enough to post it on here. Writing something is better than watching TV, tweeting or drinking into oblivion.

Feeling this way makes me angry. Luckily I'm not freaking out enough to be put in a hospital again.

I wish some mania would return. At least I'd have higher energy levels and a positive "can do" attitude. In depression easy things are tricky to perform. Depression gives you a "to do list" that never gets done. Like the washing up if you can be bother to cook and feel like eating anything.

When you're depressed it is hard to get interested in anything exciting or things you enjoy. And when you do it's usually bad for you in the form of self medication with booze and drugs.

I know this post is empty. It's another waste of words. You've no doubt lost interest at this point and found something better to do.

If I'm good at anything recently it's slacking. I think this blog needs a revamp and a makeover. Some content that will benefit readers, offer advice for people with mental health issues and raise awareness.

I have some unfinished articles and advice that I should complete and publish on here. I always have too much on my mind. Several beers would be great but I know they won't help.

I understand your attention spans are short so I've put together my long articles on the left. Providing I make it through this week alive I promise I'll get round to it and make reading this thing more worthwhile.

A Rubbish Blog Post

I have no doubt this will be my worst ever blog post. It shouldn't count as a post, more of a tweet but I think I've gone over the character limit. I must stop writing this painful rubbish.

Personally I'd prefer you visited my site then clicked an ad but your more likely to close the browser in disgust. You deserve better. I should close this blog down in disgrace. Please don't count this as a blog post. I must try harder on my writing content, blogging skills and get my head together.

SAD BLOG

My old Twitter followers and ex-readers were probably very sad to hear I'd started up my blog again. With the kids moved out I have no companionship other than beer and Twitter.

Drinking home alone is never a good sign. Don't worry drinking isn't binge drinking or a regular occurrence, it makes me feel like shit but a few pints help me relax and sleep better.

I figure I may need some help and input with it. The blog that is not the beer. It's been a while since I drank or blogged anything. I'm trying to get back into blogging to stop the boredom and loneliness eating away at me.

Tech confuses and frustrates me. This blog is a mess but it's my mess. I am not sure how I thought this was going to make things better. The writing just isn't happening. I'm at 59% of my life and death is slowly approaching. It is fair to say I haven't accomplished much apart from a roof over my head, a great marriage and our two wonderful kids, Luke and Lucy. X

You can see the years heavily imprinted on my face and other body parts. The battle wounds of life, mental illness and grief splattered on my heart. It triggers another bout of depression.

Today feels like a failure. My energy levels are down. Socially I can just about manage going to work for something to do. It serves a distraction as well as an income.

I have nothing to do right now. Sitting around and drinking is never good unless you have some company. I could always go for a walk in the rain and wash off my blues. Sadly life is not that simple and the rain can't wash away grief.

It's a sad blog. I know the from experience that feeling will go away. Hopefully the next post will have some direction, be more interesting and less depressing.

The First Post is the Deepest

I've been out of the Internet public eye. I haven't blogged or tweeted since 2021. I didn't have anything to say. I was in too much pain. Functioning has been incredibly difficult.

Over the last few years I've been struggling to make sense of my life and figure out what I should be doing with it. I've been lost, and in many ways I still am.

I don't want my thoughts and feelings to destroy me. I am strong. There was a time when I was happy now I just let the tears fall. It cuts too deep.

Valentine’s Day on a Budget

Jen always insists that I don't waste money on crazy Valentine gifts anymore. She's always strict with money because I find spending money on her and chocolate far too easy.

There is no doubt we should show the ones we love how much we love them but Valentine's Day puts pressure on men and women to buy something special. When we first met my spending on her was crazy, expensive jewellery, surprise trips abroad, costly dinners/wine, designer clothes and bags.

Bipolar and money don’t always go well together. In the end Jen told me to stop spending all this money on her. She knows I love her so why keep wasting money to prove something so already knows. Why have all the guilt and stress of Valentine Shopping when our love can be shown all year round.

Of course she is right because we show our love for each other every day so why should we waste money in honour of a yearly mass marketing event. If you've ever bought rose for Valentine's day the prices are expensive and more inflated.

Every month we have a stay in date night where one of us cooks the other a nice meal, most months I buy her fresh flowers for the kitchen display and she buys me things for the allotment and a four pack of beer for Friday nights.

For many loving couples Valentine’s Day is just another day and they find that spending the day together is all that's needed. However the marketing media see it as an opportunity to brand it as a holiday of love and romance. We already celebrate our wedding anniversaries so there's no need for a wild spending feast on the 14th of February.

Every Valentine’s Day men and women spend a great deal of money on surprise gifts for their loved ones. I don't have a problem with Valentine's Day but it has turned into selling event which places pressures on people to overspend and even get into debt.

Even if Valentine's Day feels special to you both it doesn’t have to break the bank or your budget. You can show your partner how much you love them without spending a fortune. I hope these money saving Valentines tips help you and give you some cost cutting ideas:

Create a Handmade Valentine Card

Making your own handmade Valentine means so much more than buying one or giving her a box of chocolates. If you are the arty or artist type creating a handmade Valentines card makes the event close and personal. Buy some card, felt tips and paint from your stationary shop and go wild.

Write a Love Letter or Poem

Writing a love letter or a poem to your partner is a romantic and loving gesture, far best than a bought gift. Write how you feel about your spouse in your own words and how much you love and care for them. What are the special memories that you have shared together to bond your love forever?

Create a Romantic Music Playlist

A great valentine gift is to create a playlist that your own half will love you more for. Creating a CD or playlist of her favourite songs is certainly cheaper than paying for live music or gig tickets. Creating a music playlist alongside a homemade romantic dinner will hit the spot and set the mood.

If you play an instrument or have a half decent singing voice you may also consider writing a valentine's day love song for your partner to help melt her heart.

Start a Love Journal Together

Another inexpensive gift idea for a Valentine’s Day is to start a journal or photo album together. With an empty journal you can fill it up together with heartfelt memoires, writing as a couple and pictures of your kids.

Make a Romantic Home Dinner

You don’t have to go on an expensive restaurant date to have a romantic Valentines meal, you can cook your partners favourite food at home for a fraction of the cost. All you require is some advance planning by purchasing the ingredients ahead of time and learning how to cook it if it's a tricky meal to prepare.

Cooking dinner on Valentine's Day and enjoying it as a couple is cheaper and more relaxing than eating out at a restaurant that will charge you a fortune. Going out and making reservations in advance at highly sought food places saves on stress and money. Many popular restaurants are too crowded for a relaxing romantic meal and dirty talk.

To make it special the meal you prepare must last longer than your usually mealtime so you plan for two or three courses with a nice dessert. If you are a terrible cook then you might want to consider making the meal together as a team or ordering a takeout.

To make it a special night set the mood and romantic atmosphere by lighting some candles, aromatic sticks, some fresh flowers and buying a bottle of wine if you enjoy alcohol together.

You can also put on the playlist you made, enjoy a movie with popcorn and the two of you can spend quality time together and have a wonderful evening enjoying each other's company.

I'm sure your loved one and you will have a great time and enjoy a double dessert, wink, wink. If you have children you might want to get them out of the way for the evening or put them to bed early so the night is just for you two.

Special Gestures

One example of a low cost Valentine’s Day surprise and a very simple and romantic idea is to do the chores around the house or finish that piece of DIY you've being promising to finish for months.

Free and special gestures are the most inexpensive gift idea for Valentine’s Day. When you're in a deep meaningful relationship I believe Valentine gifts and material possession tend not to matter as much as in the early years of dating and relationships.

You can show someone you love them without purchasing gifts and they will love you for it. It's the thought that counts and that can include doing jobs around the house that your partner might normally do, like cleaning up, doing the dishes, letting them have a lie in bed or cooking and serving them breakfast in bed.

Usually it's the little things in life and small gestures we appreciate are what glues a relationship together and they don't cost a bean. Being there and helping each other is the most precious gift of all.

Show Them You Love Them

You can express yourself freely on Valentine’s Day. It is possible to do Valentine on a budget. Let your imagination go wild.

A great Valentine’s Day gift doesn't have to be expensive and can be more affordable than the traditional clichés . There are many inexpensive Valentine’s Day gifts you can buy that will have meaning for your partner. Instead of buying a bunch of roses can you buy cheaper flowers or a single red rose. Also for the green finger among you how about buying a seeds or plants you can watch grow and flourish in the garden.

Valentine’s Day isn’t all about giving lavish presents and gifts, it's about appreciating each other and those personal touches that make it special. I hope I've given you some inspiration. By being creative there are many affordable ways to show you love someone. By creating experiences, happy memories and something unique that your loved one will cherish forever.

Happy Valentine’s Day, love ya.

The Wealthy Need To Pay Their Taxes

The system we live in favours the rich and powerful. Many wealthy people don't pay the correct level of tax and big companies can pay less tax as a percentage then solo traders and small businesses do. In some company cases tax bills have been written-off.

It's easy to understand why people are angry. While the working and middle classes are expected to pay their taxes and benefit cheats are vilified for conning the welfare system the wealthy can cheat and are permitted to break the rules.

Aren't we all in this together? If the UK government are promoting "levelling up" and "one nation" then where is the fairness and transparency? If the 99% have to pay the correct amount of tax then shouldn't everybody.

Tax avoiders cost the country billions, money which could be used to improve our public services. The tax affairs of companies and personal finances of politicians, the rich and famous need to be disclosed and examined in more detail.

Wealthy friends and supporters of the Tory party seem to do very well avoiding paying their taxes. Some tax dodgers who have avoided paying tax have even been on the Queens honours list receiving OBE's.

Why don't they have to pay their share to support our public services and the vulnerable who need better services? While Sir Not Paid Tax-Alot has a brilliant lifestyle the rest of the country has suffered under 10 years of austerity.

How the fairness of the tax system operates it morally questionable. The wealth get wealthier and the poor pay the price. With the budget coming up I expect to "level up" too with a massive tax cut and a knighthood.

Screw Buzz

I'm not well-rounded or level headed. With mania that one place, one job, one women, one goal, one million is never enough. Mania always wants more. It wants to push you without any insight to the consequences until you land with a splat.



An episode of mania lacks a plan, it only has a grand vision, it offers no insight into tragedy or misfortune. It ranges from the successful to the spectacular failure.

Mania doesn't want treatment because it thinks it's magic and doing the right thing.

There comes a time when you realise that the world is sick, not quite right. No wonder you're always feeling down. How can you cheer up surrounded by all this misery? How can you block it all out?

The world and it's people fascinate me for that reason. I wonder why our own minds and actions trap us like caged animals.

Mania is a delusion, only depression and our true feelings can open your eyes to our dreams and innermost demons. Sharing your feelings and thoughts with others is good therapy. I believe writing and blogging can have a huge positive impact on your health.

While this grouchy blog isn't for everyone. This is personal expression. I blog more for me than you. The downside is I might turn most people off. I don't apologise for expressing myself. I don’t force anyone to come here. When you have a mental illness you may not want to broadcast to the public. It can cause issues and impact on relationships and your career.

I have built up an audience and online community for been miserable. Reading my blog would suggest I'm unhappy and sad all the time. Despite my illness I've actually had a great life and created something that's useful for sufferers.

I think you should pay attention to the doomsayers, you'll usually find that what they say has a valid point. They don't get caught up in the buzz and rush of the crowd.

You can't please everyone. This content is for the weird ones. If I was cheerful and happy all the time you'd think I was ill.